The Sun will shine upon you in your darkest days and The Moon shall accompany you during your lonely nights.
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Monday 9 January 2012
EscaLake
A mysterious shadow gate,
Overlooking a dark lake,
Through which its surface is the nature of my hate,
An unpleasant sight of the dreaded heartbreak...
how to improve? that's a tough question, coz i'm def. no expert. i cant specifically tell you what to improve on, coz i feel that every piece of literature is written the way it is for its own reasons and is something that's very personal to the writer. but i've always felt that the best way to get the best out of your writing is to write and re-write and re-write again.
sometimes i have the same piece of poetry for weeks, and continuously change and replace words, and read it over and over again til eventually one day it will feel and sound right. and thts when i know its complete.
Like for this piece above here, the length is fine the way it is as it makes the reader ponder about what is beyond that shadow gate. its always good to play with ur audiences' curiosity.
and i noticed ur rhyme scheme is very consistent, why not try challenging urself to a scheme that's not ur typical taste..just try experimenting bits and pieces, you might surprise yourself. ;]
yeah,good point there Mizah! it is my intention to provoke the curiosity within the readers. erm most of my poetry consists the same rhyme scheme so that it hits the mood and so that somehow the words are interconnected within each stanzas. thanks a lot for the feedback,I really appreciate it Mizah! I'll try to come up with a piece with different rhyme scheme later. :D
potent...very potent.
ReplyDeletehow to improve? that's a tough question, coz i'm def. no expert. i cant specifically tell you what to improve on, coz i feel that every piece of literature is written the way it is for its own reasons and is something that's very personal to the writer. but i've always felt that the best way to get the best out of your writing is to write and re-write and re-write again.
ReplyDeletesometimes i have the same piece of poetry for weeks, and continuously change and replace words, and read it over and over again til eventually one day it will feel and sound right. and thts when i know its complete.
Like for this piece above here, the length is fine the way it is as it makes the reader ponder about what is beyond that shadow gate. its always good to play with ur audiences' curiosity.
and i noticed ur rhyme scheme is very consistent, why not try challenging urself to a scheme that's not ur typical taste..just try experimenting bits and pieces, you might surprise yourself. ;]
yeah,good point there Mizah! it is my intention to provoke the curiosity within the readers. erm most of my poetry consists the same rhyme scheme so that it hits the mood and so that somehow the words are interconnected within each stanzas. thanks a lot for the feedback,I really appreciate it Mizah! I'll try to come up with a piece with different rhyme scheme later. :D
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